I just finished reading the book “What French Women Know” written by a Debra Ollivier, a woman who was born in America, married a French man, had her children in France, and lived there for ten years. She explores some of the major differences in the typically American lifestyle and the Parisian lifestyle. She explains that the overall American culture is more concerned with “fixing” ourselves and doing/being “right”, whereas the French celebrate their differences, waste no time “fixing” or fussing over the “right” way to do something and instead, spend time cultivating themselves…therefore filling their lives with much more pleasure. I am not going to totally get behind this book because there was about 50% of the content that I agreed with, and the other 50% that I completely disagreed with. However, I certainly agree with the fact that it is pushed upon American women- in magazines, tv, movies, basically everywhere- that we need to be like everyone else, to be agreeable, to be liked. And I do believe that we would all live more pleasurable, enjoyable, relaxed lives and have more authentic relationships if we would stop trying so hard and just be ourselves. Here are a few lines from the book so you will know what to expect if you do choose to read it…
Oh, and while I’m on a French kick, check out Madeleine Peyroux – I’ve been listening to her in the mornings while I have my coffee time – SO GOOD.
From the book…
“There is no conversation more boring than the one where everyone agrees.” – Montaigne
“One thing you have to give up is attaching importance to what people see in you.” – Jeanne Moreau
“Make peace with the fact that some of the best people in your life are fallible, unreasonable, and downright annoying.” – Veronique Vienne
“Strangeness is a necessary ingredient in beauty.” – Baudelaire
“It’s precisely this American inclination to seek harmony at all costs, even to the point of leveling idiosyncrasies and imperfections. This concept does not exist in France because there is no desire to be liked by everyone in our culture. On the contrary, if you are liked by everyone it suggests that you are somehow bland. There is nothing authentic or original about you, never mind sexy.”
“Let’s leave the obviously pretty women to men with no imagination.” – Proust
“I think when you are an adult, you start to like the very things that make you different. If you obsess about some defect, you make it obvious to everyone, and suddenly everyone is staring at just that defect. It’s always like that. The more you hide something, the more it shows. But when you accept your defect, suddenly no one on earth sees it anymore. In fact, it becomes an asset.” -Audrey Tautou
“Most French women aren’t overly concerned with pining away to stay young because many of them are too busy enjoying being grown-ups.”
“There are simple, sensual pleasures to be had in daily life if we’d only let our proverbial hair down (and stop worrying about how it looks when we do).
“The holy trinity of essentials- a simple bottle of wine, bread, and good company- is all that’s needed for a deeply satisfying moment.”
“Taking the time to step off the treadmill is as important, if not more so, as being on it. Thus, the French woman will also organize her life around the imperatives of not doing things – a concept so antithetical to the American way that I get exhausted just thinking about it.”
“French women aren’t quick to query a first date with the bullish: So what do you do for a living? This implies that what you do (i.e., what you make) is more important than who you are.”
“When a woman puts too much energy into the frenetic machinations of having a showroom life, she is, on some level, denying herself both the good life and an authentic life.”
“It’s not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.” -Abraham Lincoln
